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Can you find your inner feminista without compromising your 21st-century standards? You’re cold, and he offers you his sweater…should you take it? Should you expect him to lay it on a puddle for you to walk across? Some traditions of chivalry are laughable in modern context, but some gestures never go out of style.

It boils down to what you accept versus what you expect.

These companies seem very exacting about how their behave—while apparently giving staff (or airport-based security officials) full license to unleash their inner demons. I’m not saying your seat is small, but if it were a haystack, you’d find the needle. It might have thawed by the time we reached Patagonia, but I wasn’t going to Patagonia.

In airplane disaster movies, the pilot’s always wrestling with the yoke, trying to get full throttle; now these exertions are directed towards throttling the yokels. Simon was one of the largest rabbits in the world, maybe even a pooka! While the business-class swells chow down in their business lounges at the airport, or in their big Business Class seats on the plane, and make big business deals and get big business grease from their big business filets mignon all over their big business suits and the Business Class upholstery, economy passengers’ food, once it arrives, is a throwback to TV dinners of the 1970s. I once ordered the kosher meal, just to see if it was any more tolerable, and got a solid block of ice dumped on my tray table. The famous and not so famous are forever in planes and cars, just in order to get someplace—Carrie Fisher, Glenn Miller, Helen E.

It also led to some suggestions for new slogans: Fly the unfriendly skies . Robert Frost was content with his tricky decision in the woods: , migration, whether political or economic, is not only a human right, but a necessary response to cruelties inflicted by war, inequality, and climate change.

The automatic rush to the computer to book cheap flights—we barely even notice we’re doing it anymore. We’ve been fed a bunch of fake reasons to travel by evil geniuses determined to use up all the fossil fuels as fast as possible, so as to coerce us all into accepting nuclear power as soon as possible. You’d think taking baths and running around on mosaic floors in Rome to the chimes of your tintinnabuli, with the occasional trek south for an orgy in Pompeii, would be enough for anybody.

A long weekend in Guadalajara, a short one in Zagreb, Zimbabwe, or Zeebrugge. We galumph across the earth at their bidding, getting ourselves into all kinds of scrapes. But no, those legions were always on the move, subduing, usurping, exploiting, and enslaving people; transporting wheat, papyrus, and gossip; and building walls to make Rome great again.

Once you’re in a relationship, though, taper off the act.

air travel was a clear badge of elite cultural distinction, from the “jet set” to the Sinatra-mangling ad slogan, “Come Fly With Me.” Droit-de-siegneur sexual fantasies of stewardess life were memorialized in that elegantly titled sixties tell-all People actually used to dress up to take a plane. Now you need a bulletproof vest when dealing with the cabin crew. Let’s say you survive the full-body scan as well as the obligatory two-hour, duty-free-spangled dwalm afterwards, searching the departure area for a decent bar.

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